Tips & Tricks
Speaking for Yourself
Know that your feelings are yours alone, and that you’ll only ever need to speak on your own behalf.
This will save you from the escalation of many arguments to come, and might actually prevent them altogether: only speak for yourself at all times. A lot of times we get caught up in our emotions and blame our feelings on others, which sounds like, “You made me feel sad.” We also speak on others behalf, which sounds like, “Well, Cate said -”. Both are problematic, and here’s why.
Others are never responsible for your emotions. If you feel hurt by something that someone has done or said, then it is up to you to relay your boundaries to them. It is up to you to say, “I feel ignored when you don’t text me back.” You can’t simply assume that people purposely do things to hurt your feelings. You have to communicate your feelings as your own instead of putting the blame on another person’s actions; maybe that person thinks that your conversation is over, or that you’re not expecting a text back. Take responsibility for your feelings and either convey them or remove yourself for the situation.
Speaking on behalf of someone else also quickly becomes problematic. Only speaking on your own behalf and never using anyone else’s name to inform a conversation will keep you from slipping into hot water. Nobody needs you to speak for them; I’m absolutely sure that if they had something to say, they’d say it themselves. You cannot explain anyone else’s opinion or feelings better than they can themselves. So, speak only on your own behalf to avoid miscommunications and upsetting anyone by misspeaking their truth.
These tips will not only help in keeping you away from any unnecessary drama, but will also affirm you entirely as your own person. The need to blame others for your feelings and to speak for others is a side effect of a lack of self-awareness. Be aware that your feelings are yours alone, and that you only ever need to explain your own thoughts and feelings. Focus on yourself instead of projecting onto others.
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The Alcohol Encyclopedia
The different kinds of good decisions you make with different kinds of alcohol!
Drunk is always when we make our very best decisions. Different alcohols, though, lead to different great choices.
This one makes us laugh the hardest and cry the hardest. Just like the laughs, drunk cries are always the most beautiful; dribbles of snot, strings of drool, puffy pink cheeks and glazed over eyes altogether, the stuff of great artists’ dreams. The tears are also usually caused by something that happened ten years ago, or something that isn’t actually a problem – like how amazing your friends are, or how cute your dog is. Dancing your cares away, and then taking a little break on the bathroom floor being a given. Obviously so are vomiting either at home in the sink or in a random alleyway. This is the classic, the sleek and elegant, vodka night. Sure, she’s a little rough around the edges, but we love her every once and a while, right?
For about fifteen minutes (before the immediate head and stomach aches), this one has us thriving, at the top of our game, untouchable. There isn’t a single person we can’t talk to, and not a single person that we won’t talk to. We kiss strangers or friends, and find ourselves staring into our reflections smiling goofily, completely unaware of what we’ve just done. This one, for some reason, makes us talk with our hands with what some might call an unnecessary amount of vigor, but what I think is the perfect amount. When we have too much of this one, we normally require little to maximum babysitting. You guessed it, it’s our little lady, wine.
This one is special, unique. You’re probably one of the sanest and soundest people I know if this is your go-to on a night out. This one makes your hands shake, just a little, enough for the perfect semi-permanent jazz-hands. It’s really a different adventure every time, but always a full adventure. One that lasts all night. You seriously won’t sleep. There are normally no tears with this one, but only because you won’t be able to hold the attention on the thing that makes you sad, or anything, really. Basically, if your friend group decides that this is the night’s beveragino, you should know that that’s the best idea to have ever existed. The infamous jager-bomb is the epitome of all things classy and cool.
(Drink responsibly. There are facetious remarks and untrue statements in the information above. However, some are very true. I will leave it up to you to decide what’s what… Sorry, mom.)
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How to Plan the Perfect Friend-cation
All of the stops you’ll need to have a trip you’ll never forget!
Back when it was possible to do so, my best friends and I went on a trip. We’re no strangers to having fun, but we were all pleasantly surprised with how amazing of a time we had. We really cracked the code on all of the stops you need to have an unforgettable trip:
See the City
Go for a stroll around the city center. You’ll find cafés and boutiques, restaurants and ice cream parlors, gift shops and maybe even a thrift shop. Every city is unique and you’ll definitely find its quirks here.
Our first meal ended up being a part of this mini-adventure; we chose a random restaurant and sat at the bar listening to the live music that was playing to kick-off our trip. This walk allows you to feel the place out and make some spontaneous decisions which is always a fun part of any trip.
Vineyard or Brewery
We went to a vineyard, two actually, and let me tell you – this was one of my favorite parts of the entire trip. I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life. Our first vineyard experience was wonderful;
the charming guy who walked us through the tasting really knew what he was talking about (or at least he sounded like he did, it’d be awkward if he didn’t and we bought it), and answered all of our questions. On our walk to the next vineyard, we were already feeling the wine, but in true young adult fashion, we marched on.
We asked far less questions at the second vineyard, and something like three bottles later, we were hysterically laughing among rows of grapes. Great wine on a sunny day with your friends couldn’t possibly be anything but magical.
We did all pay the price, knocking out as soon as we got back to our Airbnb. The hangover was nothing short of worth it. Needless to say, visit any local vineyard or brewery (and drink responsibly).
If you can’t go to a vineyard, do some research and buy a bottle of wine that is native to or only available in the place you’re visiting. Easy DIY wine tasting among friends!
Brunch
After the vineyard, you’re going to need it. We found an incredible vegan brunch place only 15 minutes out from where we were staying. It was so good that we went back the next day! Find places unique to the area you’re visiting, you can go to McDonald’s when you get home.
If things are too pricey where you’re at, or you want to save some cash, bring or buy some groceries to make brunch! Cooking is always fun with friends.
Spa Day
After your yummy brunch, head to a spa in the area. It’s the perfect way to detox after all of that wine. It’s also a great way to see some of the most beautiful parts of the place you’re visiting; spas always showcase the most serene views.
The spa we visited, although it wasn’t open to splash around in when we went, had a little river that one of the sauna’s overlooked. The rest of the stone paths and walkways were bordered with tall trees and other greeneries. It was an amazing lazy, chit-chat (more like whisper-whisper, lots of quiet areas in spas) day activity.
If you can’t find a spa, or don’t have the dough for it, no worries! You can do the same kind of thing wherever you’re staying; buy some face masks at a local pharmacy, some nice tea or coffee, and even some things to make a little charcuterie board if you’re feeling wild. Bring your housecoats and lounge about, et voila! Spa experience.
Fancy Night
My friends and I love getting dressed up for the sake of getting dressed up. So, we made sure to bring our cutest outfits, do our makeup and have a glamorous night. It was a nice change of pace since we don’t often get dolled up. Getting ready is a fun part of the process too!
By the end of the night we sat eating McFlurrys in the car (the local ice cream shops were all closed, so I broke my McDonalds rule). A fancy restaurant is definitely not needed for Fancy Night.
Fancy Night is a possibility anywhere; wear what makes you feel most chic with your friends and have a meal or a drink– fancy night complete!
Now more than ever we need things to look forward to. So, make exciting plans with your friends, and once life gets somewhat back to normal, you’ll already be one foot out the door on your next adventure. You can even have fun doing all of these things in the comfort of your own home, maybe on a zoom call or with your roommates.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself, during this hard time. Have a staycation.
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